So Tense About the Tents

The salesman was so tense,
We could sense
His tents
Weren't worth the extra cents.

(They also had funny scents.)

We left without one.

Pants

Unless you want to give a chance
To passers by to steal a glance
Of whatever you wear under there
(or whatever you don't)
We recommend pants.

Homonymous Holidays

It was more of a scene
Than I'd ever seen.
The line stretched out the door.

Outside, a girl sold hot apple cider,
A brimming pot of the stuff beside her,
And a sign, reading "Hot Cider 50 cents."

It had the most wonderful scent.

Inside, a festive soundtrack played.
I heard it all twice twice through.
And if, "Have a Holly Jolly," came around once more,
I couldn't have said what I'd do.

But, in the end, I'm glad I went.

Now my Holiday gifts are all sent.

Speaking while hiking: a pronunciation guide for the trail

Put your foot
into a boot.
Check the map,
and choose your route.

If, on your hike in,
your route sounds like "boot,"
then, on your way out,
try to speak of your route.

Was it a Seizure to Seize Her?

The doctor will know,
I expect,
when he sees her.

It might be a seizure
that happened to seize her.

In Rome,
I am told,
It once happened
to Caesar.

"This exhibit's a bust."

With thanks to Jim and Jane for letting 'er rip when the lunch-time inspiration seized 'em

The Sewing was just So So

The sewing was just so so
on the field hand's dungarees.

So, after all the sowing,
and germination of the seeds,

When the time came for weeding,
He would bend down on his knees,

And, more often than not,
His dungarees would split,

Right up the backside,
And you'd hear him mutter,

"Aw, SH...

...ucks!"

Whether They'll Whither

Whether or not the flowers will whither

depends on the weather,

and whether the weather's been dryer or wetter.

And whether or not they can weather the weather,

Also depends on

whether or not

they've had enough water

(or too much).