tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919422984012078182024-03-19T08:55:45.303-04:00The Awful WaffleAnd other homonym-ous and heteronym-ous rhymes made to aid the spelling dismayed.Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-74462669137618529842018-03-12T06:06:00.000-04:002018-03-12T06:57:29.847-04:00So Tense About the Tents<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="mobile-photo">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyy7qotlhi7uWYlzYIsr4gF5D7jFwiTCBM7LotdWuwLYr3uXJHFoqEfc_mPhDlm7GDNI_9EGpiY9cL9gTdoEzl96WHzU2OvcxiKzEz_zVmqG9uHpd_FzjqwK2xzvQjqGRg27aNFaItkis/s1600/IMG_3070-709871.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6532010505614959330" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyy7qotlhi7uWYlzYIsr4gF5D7jFwiTCBM7LotdWuwLYr3uXJHFoqEfc_mPhDlm7GDNI_9EGpiY9cL9gTdoEzl96WHzU2OvcxiKzEz_zVmqG9uHpd_FzjqwK2xzvQjqGRg27aNFaItkis/s320/IMG_3070-709871.jpg" /></a></div>
The salesman was so tense,
<br />
We could sense
<br />
His tents
<br />
Weren't worth the extra cents.
<br />
<br />
(They also had funny scents.)
<br />
<br />
We left without one.</div>
Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-37483255139529026822018-03-07T05:52:00.000-05:002018-03-07T07:43:40.066-05:00Pants<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="mobile-photo">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE1v_qE1H9-sJVcsfez5Hiq36Ljm5FJsNSXbyE_U7K6hFza7xKouTHAJJUhRrURfiQcY089qZubhyVKXA82F-1jQUMfVAyBCzPoJkShXi4CQr1a_glT3j7tHyIIgcCJN9sSqJXVJX0eSQ/s1600/IMG_3062-782915.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6530154105165020546" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE1v_qE1H9-sJVcsfez5Hiq36Ljm5FJsNSXbyE_U7K6hFza7xKouTHAJJUhRrURfiQcY089qZubhyVKXA82F-1jQUMfVAyBCzPoJkShXi4CQr1a_glT3j7tHyIIgcCJN9sSqJXVJX0eSQ/s320/IMG_3062-782915.jpg" /></a></div>
Unless you want to give a chance
<br />
To passers by to steal a glance
<br />
Of whatever you wear under there
<br />
(or whatever you don't)
<br />
We recommend pants.</div>
Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-50781788514109221482017-12-20T05:37:00.002-05:002017-12-20T05:37:47.274-05:00Homonymous Holidays <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It was more of a scene<br />
Than I'd ever seen.<br />
The line stretched out the door.<br />
<br />
Outside, a girl sold hot apple cider,<br />
A brimming pot of the stuff beside her,<br />
And a sign, reading "Hot Cider 50 cents."<br />
<br />
It had the most wonderful scent.<br />
<br />
Inside, a festive soundtrack played.<br />
I heard it all twice twice through.<br />
And if, "Have a Holly Jolly," came around once more,<br />
I couldn't have said what I'd do.<br />
<br />
But, in the end, I'm glad I went.<br />
<br />
Now my Holiday gifts are all sent.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHJjWEoqZz_UQUyvGYIb0FDfnmlYZfw43t9ARB-uARfyKQgcf6RuTP3XCYqdUiM5xZ-S78p8Pxhleh6HY8N-60TF38kkEyY_Pmt6OeKN-gFOQFTIi-vLSFU9nud1CkNBFwae2WQ7HUh50/s1600/IMG_2874.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHJjWEoqZz_UQUyvGYIb0FDfnmlYZfw43t9ARB-uARfyKQgcf6RuTP3XCYqdUiM5xZ-S78p8Pxhleh6HY8N-60TF38kkEyY_Pmt6OeKN-gFOQFTIi-vLSFU9nud1CkNBFwae2WQ7HUh50/s320/IMG_2874.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-21956309931965976642016-07-18T05:23:00.001-04:002016-07-19T09:23:07.050-04:00Speaking while hiking: a pronunciation guide for the trail<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Put your foot<br />
into a boot.<br />
Check the map,<br />
and choose your route.<br />
<br />
If, on your hike in,<br />
your route sounds like "boot,"<br />
then, on your way out,<br />
try to speak of your route.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKInanm694uBUoYG3GerOgelrfxOTpR0v0IFVBas7Xi-xKmFh5K2eNfAlSt3SOpJKI_kXyZFh2TnToXEcnb-tQO3d5VcrHK7QImFnDoleZUo8yCyog7pGc8uGDHKLEd16F8hZg295Em_A/s1600/FullSizeRender+%252815%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKInanm694uBUoYG3GerOgelrfxOTpR0v0IFVBas7Xi-xKmFh5K2eNfAlSt3SOpJKI_kXyZFh2TnToXEcnb-tQO3d5VcrHK7QImFnDoleZUo8yCyog7pGc8uGDHKLEd16F8hZg295Em_A/s400/FullSizeRender+%252815%2529.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-45633342670229599662016-06-14T06:33:00.000-04:002016-06-17T08:03:44.188-04:00Was it a Seizure to Seize Her?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The doctor will know,<br />
I expect,<br />
when he sees her.<br />
<br />
It might be a seizure<br />
that happened to seize her.<br />
<br />
In Rome,<br />
I am told,<br />
It once happened<br />
to Caesar.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKUxKTilaUa7Cknxqz-FIBUSO9SlSeKoKwBa4Ojo7loh0T_x3WmuzGQsdMiHPxs6_i9-R1rco7lqTc8u0NiR7qNOkAnSWl6i6RLvlPJRsvIFFDPtfWoOxMFvAFyckmVxx-mebCIWPVjIk/s1600/FullSizeRender+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="276" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKUxKTilaUa7Cknxqz-FIBUSO9SlSeKoKwBa4Ojo7loh0T_x3WmuzGQsdMiHPxs6_i9-R1rco7lqTc8u0NiR7qNOkAnSWl6i6RLvlPJRsvIFFDPtfWoOxMFvAFyckmVxx-mebCIWPVjIk/s400/FullSizeRender+%25281%2529.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"This exhibit's a bust."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;"><i>With thanks to Jim and Jane for letting 'er rip when the lunch-time inspiration seized 'em</i></span></div>
Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-17964264520610688272016-06-07T06:31:00.000-04:002016-06-07T06:31:01.068-04:00The Sewing was just So So<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The sewing was just so so<br />
on the field hand's dungarees.<br />
<br />
So, after all the sowing,<br />
and germination of the seeds,<br />
<br />
When the time came for weeding,<br />
He would bend down on his knees,<br />
<br />
And, more often than not,<br />
His dungarees would split,<br />
<br />
Right up the backside,<br />
And you'd hear him mutter,<br />
<br />
"Aw, SH...<br />
<br />
...ucks!"<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFEn_RDYWPgJ0u-76UhpEgSimMliuA4xohJx05x2D4czR6ES4C36xaAHSwAfzYUGJZS0ciDjoc-296PhEgvaDBeE5F_4ed0MK0cdcO_uQtGwBylCdXL0ivhHzuym_EHi-hcvuNIHjkiS4/s1600/FullSizeRender+%252814%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFEn_RDYWPgJ0u-76UhpEgSimMliuA4xohJx05x2D4czR6ES4C36xaAHSwAfzYUGJZS0ciDjoc-296PhEgvaDBeE5F_4ed0MK0cdcO_uQtGwBylCdXL0ivhHzuym_EHi-hcvuNIHjkiS4/s400/FullSizeRender+%252814%2529.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-62296915837872001762016-05-31T08:00:00.000-04:002016-05-31T08:00:25.380-04:00Whether They'll Whither<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Whether or not the flowers will whither<br />
<br />
depends on the weather,<br />
<br />
and whether the weather's been dryer or wetter.<br />
<br />
And whether or not they can weather the weather,<br />
<br />
Also depends on<br />
<br />
whether or not<br />
<br />
they've had enough water<br />
<br />
(or too much).<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidwjr90lO3U-kfjnTaYRm3Okk87aR0lkzI3aBbLtUJZCZtFuyG8v2zEsQNiqpdH5hDx3OMfiyq0TIijyn9t816Co0EPj1HGGmLwrcZSBFbovpW8PIFyMj4VrEUManXIz660GLDHUMoIvg/s1600/FullSizeRender+%252813%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidwjr90lO3U-kfjnTaYRm3Okk87aR0lkzI3aBbLtUJZCZtFuyG8v2zEsQNiqpdH5hDx3OMfiyq0TIijyn9t816Co0EPj1HGGmLwrcZSBFbovpW8PIFyMj4VrEUManXIz660GLDHUMoIvg/s400/FullSizeRender+%252813%2529.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-31931786063479389862016-05-24T14:00:00.000-04:002016-05-24T14:00:05.441-04:00Unless I'm Wrong, I'm Right.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Unless I'm wrong (or left), I'm right -<br />
<br />
With pen in hand, I write.<br />
<br />
A maker is a wright.<br />
<br />
A priest performs a rite.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBOV-AOIBx0Q0yF__U-WDEyfu0fIpvNo_QEoPQiRKsWJLRIgq2saRTsk3SUopU80K5S0DTvMtQm5A_uFRjohXHdmFBDJTNtQok0ZTeVvTGc5K7orUulk7V6d5H0_j8R-Fa3w2F6cH11n8/s1600/FullSizeRender+%252811%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="372" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBOV-AOIBx0Q0yF__U-WDEyfu0fIpvNo_QEoPQiRKsWJLRIgq2saRTsk3SUopU80K5S0DTvMtQm5A_uFRjohXHdmFBDJTNtQok0ZTeVvTGc5K7orUulk7V6d5H0_j8R-Fa3w2F6cH11n8/s400/FullSizeRender+%252811%2529.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br /></div>
Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-29729460528932373632016-05-17T13:00:00.000-04:002016-05-17T13:00:38.848-04:00Underwear Shopping On the Isle of Guile<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div>
For some strange reason,</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
on the Isle of Guile,</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
the underwear aisle</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
seems to stretch for a mile.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And after you've browsed</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
for a little while,</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
you can tell that - </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
here on the Isle - </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
polka dots</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
are always in style.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwQqbGMj2XeyYYrmfsDrIFppVXxFXJGsRSrHEKsBlme7mIVapCcBirvCUuMMH6_NnDyd0IB9bYKvO4jXsvEKVXH873zOqS9pGP6CEX87nL0Miz0QDQ09KN5aGV88mgQwp5r-GvtCtRdUE/s1600/FullSizeRender+%252812%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="260" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwQqbGMj2XeyYYrmfsDrIFppVXxFXJGsRSrHEKsBlme7mIVapCcBirvCUuMMH6_NnDyd0IB9bYKvO4jXsvEKVXH873zOqS9pGP6CEX87nL0Miz0QDQ09KN5aGV88mgQwp5r-GvtCtRdUE/s320/FullSizeRender+%252812%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
</div>
Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-35206292747646489422016-05-10T06:05:00.000-04:002016-05-13T06:22:47.168-04:00Faithful Hound<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Although we didn't know where to go,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
or how,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
or when,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
or what to do,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
but to march on...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
"Ruff! Ruff!" barked the dog, when the going got tough,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
and the weather got rough,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
and we trudged through icky, sticky, stuff.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
That dog got us through.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
He knew what do do.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
But how did he know the way to go?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Or how to lift the hearts of men,</div>
who had lost all hope.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Emptied of pride,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
grown men stopped in their tracks and cried.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
And doubtless, many would have died,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
but for our canine friend.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
When, at last, our homeward march was done,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
amidst the rising of the sun,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I marveled that each and every one of us was there.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The prize we'd sought when we'd begun</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
was lost to us.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
We hadn't won.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
And yet we did, by that return,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
escape the ultimate defeat.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
And so, on that night, and every night since then,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
for his faithfulness to all my men,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
the choicest cut of meat and bone,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I serve to him, and him alone.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv1LsmFhT5Blnyypu5iQbtx4AkB7FWbrpyhdc21XCvSDflVcD1bm4ZgMwCfXLapgcW0DQGdUdcurEGyV3SqC5PqyGUL0HyBW3L6fDN-rkUJsFvkMwUV8HyWDeQpu6rdiTiTD3inFIX81g/s1600/FullSizeRender+%25289%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv1LsmFhT5Blnyypu5iQbtx4AkB7FWbrpyhdc21XCvSDflVcD1bm4ZgMwCfXLapgcW0DQGdUdcurEGyV3SqC5PqyGUL0HyBW3L6fDN-rkUJsFvkMwUV8HyWDeQpu6rdiTiTD3inFIX81g/s400/FullSizeRender+%25289%2529.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-41763714109089154332016-05-03T14:00:00.000-04:002016-05-03T14:00:15.738-04:00Brave Matilda<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Under the old wizard's gaze, students usually whither.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
But not brave Matilda,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
who kept her wits with her,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
when he asked her,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
"With which little witch did you switch?"</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
"Switch what?" she replied,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
looking straight in his eyes.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
And although he was easily three times her size,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
he seemed smaller than she was</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
for a moment, and then </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
he coughed and said, "I wondered whether..."</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
But then he just trailed off.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
And he walked off.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
And we all dispersed,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Wondering if somehow</div>
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The old man she'd cursed.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9pOtLnL-wh5-Ma6eg7caasap4qiidlT1bbZNLHxsPNZvg9HXE4tgjGHbdVYwxlg3YP0MV1Us27_EziS8V_T6UPjAznZSiXAokwrMpfx6HmFG0k43KCAQ8MyQohc2HgUDzsSotF_bPNys/s1600/FullSizeRender+%252810%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="346" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9pOtLnL-wh5-Ma6eg7caasap4qiidlT1bbZNLHxsPNZvg9HXE4tgjGHbdVYwxlg3YP0MV1Us27_EziS8V_T6UPjAznZSiXAokwrMpfx6HmFG0k43KCAQ8MyQohc2HgUDzsSotF_bPNys/s400/FullSizeRender+%252810%2529.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-83265358951933667562016-04-19T11:00:00.000-04:002016-04-19T11:00:10.420-04:00Holey, Wholly, Holy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
With lots of holes, it's holey.<br />
<br />
With all its piece, wholly.<br />
<br />
God alone is holy.</div>
Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-35079877349191596422016-04-12T11:00:00.000-04:002016-04-15T05:53:34.570-04:00Buzzing Bees<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The thing I learned from the beekeeper was,<br />
a hive of bees will always buzz.<br />
<br />
The reason why is because,<br />
buzzing's what a bee does.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6g7O8yCO2jHFwtZ_jmcjYWTyEFEOu7CrRnM7_Cq-o2tvAnuCmiJXx9xu-SpP1e0F2qxeaA68gde6J8UdZ4EYtA457Q56rNHVpLrUXeXG-lOq6uYBmrK9ngW10t6zKrx-j1ccPEd6rqe8/s1600/IMG_1307.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6g7O8yCO2jHFwtZ_jmcjYWTyEFEOu7CrRnM7_Cq-o2tvAnuCmiJXx9xu-SpP1e0F2qxeaA68gde6J8UdZ4EYtA457Q56rNHVpLrUXeXG-lOq6uYBmrK9ngW10t6zKrx-j1ccPEd6rqe8/s400/IMG_1307.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-25948412835863067742016-04-05T11:00:00.000-04:002016-04-05T11:00:12.002-04:00You Can Count (to Five) on Me<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It isn't dumb<br />
to use your thumb<br />
to count.<br />
<br />
Some sums<br />
require the thumbs -<br />
<br />
Especially those<br />
divisible by<br />
five.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy-0rRUX8wDEFbTnNiUoQIKb9rdcujg0ZmhRtXicrbry5qIfaZvaOtjHbiYYirfi7j1BTmzHzNOVkxQhl9iG6xDirSXdpFYxxlMwwK3yFFTW5HMq5ddGsZL-ivJ8cR9JshK8ciMQrE4sM/s1600/FullSizeRender_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="336" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy-0rRUX8wDEFbTnNiUoQIKb9rdcujg0ZmhRtXicrbry5qIfaZvaOtjHbiYYirfi7j1BTmzHzNOVkxQhl9iG6xDirSXdpFYxxlMwwK3yFFTW5HMq5ddGsZL-ivJ8cR9JshK8ciMQrE4sM/s400/FullSizeRender_2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-59161723874211404252016-03-22T11:00:00.000-04:002016-03-22T11:00:06.095-04:00The Sensitive Plum Eater<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
With great aplomb<br />
he stuck a plum<br />
upon his thumb.<br />
<br />
Then he held it high<br />
up to the sky,<br />
a tear in his eye,<br />
(I don't know why.<br />
He's a sensitive guy).<br />
<br />
Then he ate it.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY7HrA4ZhlUdH_sem67xCmeYH85UGeyvNH1ecWPjsBT-cnX6JrEft7mtSlsiwBC9YUzUsI3w5z9MFrGNW06PHGSGY8-O3myEwaFO0TcKvXCVJQb7bg1oAVAk9otSeuL2NbKWhVZhmX9Kg/s1600/FullSizeRender_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY7HrA4ZhlUdH_sem67xCmeYH85UGeyvNH1ecWPjsBT-cnX6JrEft7mtSlsiwBC9YUzUsI3w5z9MFrGNW06PHGSGY8-O3myEwaFO0TcKvXCVJQb7bg1oAVAk9otSeuL2NbKWhVZhmX9Kg/s400/FullSizeRender_1.jpg" width="278" /></a></div>
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Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-53919817644975817452016-03-15T15:00:00.000-04:002016-03-15T15:00:15.787-04:00News You Can Use<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Here's some news that you can use:<br />
<br />
If you should lose your brand new shoes,<br />
don't lose heart!<br />
Before you start<br />
to search,<br />
<br />
Just lie<br />
down and do<br />
your best to try<br />
to shut your eyes,<br />
and take a snooze.<br />
<br />
You may dream of important clues.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRgaCsFlAJNnKfBp5qmUKJxooh81Q5yiXAwNZeDX3QQtl8uueRF1HIn1IXMYLhQH1GUaVkHtofPQkgVeWPZYla5zwF8tskmvC4F5W8fpboa3cPTlEFTQIhCRLlBqbRPSBQPEZymv6ITlA/s1600/FullSizeRender+%25287%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRgaCsFlAJNnKfBp5qmUKJxooh81Q5yiXAwNZeDX3QQtl8uueRF1HIn1IXMYLhQH1GUaVkHtofPQkgVeWPZYla5zwF8tskmvC4F5W8fpboa3cPTlEFTQIhCRLlBqbRPSBQPEZymv6ITlA/s400/FullSizeRender+%25287%2529.jpg" width="358" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Then, when you wake,<br />
go back again<br />
to all the places you have been.<br />
<br />
If you still can't find them anywhere,<br />
Chin up!<br />
Don't give in to despair.<br />
<br />
I've got some flip flops you can wear.</div>
Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-20773345158042126202016-03-08T14:00:00.000-05:002016-03-08T14:00:08.005-05:00Here a Tear, There a Tear<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Here is where I got a tear<br />
in my favorite shirt.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSzVUIGtl7QbMm0ZzPYBg_yiMznH9Ckg_w85IeMA7FasBmcKH-X0TKf0nKPPEI7p2IzZTdC83PoRIiWApcN2R5hWFOhSliADCG3l48qM6hdfJEVFVvkLnhCu3_VRw_1RzVaO4FE1V6qrM/s1600/FullSizeRender+%25283%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSzVUIGtl7QbMm0ZzPYBg_yiMznH9Ckg_w85IeMA7FasBmcKH-X0TKf0nKPPEI7p2IzZTdC83PoRIiWApcN2R5hWFOhSliADCG3l48qM6hdfJEVFVvkLnhCu3_VRw_1RzVaO4FE1V6qrM/s400/FullSizeRender+%25283%2529.jpg" width="263" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
It didn't hurt.<br />
But I LOVED! that shirt.<br />
<br />
So, there is where I shed a tear<br />
about it.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-43693374783174882162016-03-01T11:00:00.000-05:002016-03-01T11:00:07.224-05:00The joyful noise of unchaperoned boys<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
All the boys grew quiet when our counselor said,<br />
"That's it! You're on your own. I quit!"<br />
<br />
But as he stormed off in a huff,<br />
I knew I hadn't had quite enough.<br />
<br />
And conferring with the other boys,<br />
our quiet soon gave way to NOISE.<br />
<br />
"Good riddance!" someone said.<br />
<br />
And we all hiked on ahead.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5oSVyeajmmN6kGsiGHXY1kO5QQkIE3fP4X3lG6lRrEseJix9I3mVC2ic-lIo1rL-xwQxyn7Ta5sDVX0fwUmIzNbUGBCoMWXKdIEx41FAGSDPN4XoVEoETR9vxfqSQ_YQsbaNl_z_HPkY/s1600/FullSizeRender+%25285%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5oSVyeajmmN6kGsiGHXY1kO5QQkIE3fP4X3lG6lRrEseJix9I3mVC2ic-lIo1rL-xwQxyn7Ta5sDVX0fwUmIzNbUGBCoMWXKdIEx41FAGSDPN4XoVEoETR9vxfqSQ_YQsbaNl_z_HPkY/s400/FullSizeRender+%25285%2529.jpg" width="377" /></a></div>
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Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-73696178007992172432016-02-23T16:00:00.000-05:002016-02-23T16:00:09.147-05:00We're Where We Were<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
We're right where we were<br />
when we weren't sure<br />
we'd ever get home again.<br />
<br />
And unless we avoid<br />
coming back here again,<br />
we might not.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCeYQKXitik-KTHqQQbpfl5qeSs-Hth1jwmXC2yDtZAedNLfyvb-S82PSG6gpQ_3-p4_dgQB5P5ZkvRIBgeXiWXk-oTbRXn1QzEISUafCJ2ngyoNDNVif9NOng2PueV6wDnJKjqLxaVjc/s1600/FullSizeRender+%25286%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCeYQKXitik-KTHqQQbpfl5qeSs-Hth1jwmXC2yDtZAedNLfyvb-S82PSG6gpQ_3-p4_dgQB5P5ZkvRIBgeXiWXk-oTbRXn1QzEISUafCJ2ngyoNDNVif9NOng2PueV6wDnJKjqLxaVjc/s400/FullSizeRender+%25286%2529.jpg" width="347" /></a></div>
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Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-85414495365498504902016-02-16T16:00:00.000-05:002016-02-16T16:00:14.620-05:00Misfire and Getaway<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The archer gripped his trusty bow,<br />
drew an arrow,<br />
let it go,<br />
<br />
accidentally struck a cow,<br />
and, fearing it might cause a row,<br />
he took a rather hasty bow,<br />
and disappeared into the crowd,<br />
whose cheers by then had grown so loud,<br />
no one heard him throw his bow<br />
into the bow of his boat or no-<br />
tice as he took up oar and oar,<br />
to row, row, row to the opposite shore.<br />
<br />
He tied up his boat,<br />
mounted his horse<br />
(who was surprised to see him so soon, of course)<br />
and rode off down the road.<br />
<br />
He never did return again.<br />
And so he never knew that when<br />
the farmer pulled the arrow out,<br />
the cow was perfectly fine.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx5Fy_i9ySOEwbRZT_z3GfYyZgccocQVRl1TXVC3dT3EJRIvITDO-C3tH6f0Q4Wu954a8wFc-NkPGZTfN2VsE0WhcbSqRk5j8W-zlY1HfIHg8nJy7KCu1GNru9lk48fwn59xVL2bTfqPo/s1600/FullSizeRender+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="366" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx5Fy_i9ySOEwbRZT_z3GfYyZgccocQVRl1TXVC3dT3EJRIvITDO-C3tH6f0Q4Wu954a8wFc-NkPGZTfN2VsE0WhcbSqRk5j8W-zlY1HfIHg8nJy7KCu1GNru9lk48fwn59xVL2bTfqPo/s400/FullSizeRender+%25281%2529.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-81306209629756947472016-02-09T14:00:00.000-05:002016-02-12T06:40:50.621-05:00Banished from the Bakery<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The morning rolls were oh so nice,<br />
I asked the baker for advice.<br />
<br />
"To fluffy up your daily bread, you need to kneed the dough," he said.<br />
<br />
"I see," I said. "And how do they rise, just so to this specific size?"<br />
<br />
"The yeast!" he said. "You knead it through. And then the bread knows what to do."<br />
<br />
"It does?" I asked, a bit confused.<br />
(That bread could "know" to me was news.)<br />
<br />
"Of course it does!" he spat right back<br />
(as if I'd made a rude attack).<br />
<br />
Seeing the look of hurt in his eyes, I did my best to apologize.<br />
<br />
But the damage was done.<br />
The baker stormed off.<br />
<br />
Then, clearing his throat with a dignified cough,<br />
"It does!" he declared, and SLAMMED the door.<br />
<br />
I don't go to that bakery any more.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6OYMsFaYewu6ZKZFpAE79VZy-t5_Qwxj54gk_f7RDSoKSM_s6Aj2OxONRQHSm-_elao5L6wwGYqIqW41WJHb3lzVQ0uSKCLvUjE17FVHh4WvKYkoe9p9knKKIImV2HnsoFs1iGuvy4yU/s1600/FullSizeRender+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6OYMsFaYewu6ZKZFpAE79VZy-t5_Qwxj54gk_f7RDSoKSM_s6Aj2OxONRQHSm-_elao5L6wwGYqIqW41WJHb3lzVQ0uSKCLvUjE17FVHh4WvKYkoe9p9knKKIImV2HnsoFs1iGuvy4yU/s400/FullSizeRender+%25282%2529.jpg" width="260" /></a></div>
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Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-72353744660532108542016-02-02T16:00:00.000-05:002016-02-02T16:00:07.230-05:00The Daring Young Waiter on the Flying Trapeze<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Without spilling a pea from a bowl full of peas,<br />
or losing a slice from a plate piled with cheese,<br />
the daring young waiter on the flying trapeze<br />
sailed over our heads with the greatest of ease,<br />
a look on his face of absolute peace,<br />
each hair of his mustache painstakingly greased.<br />
At the pinnacle of his swing, we all gasped.<br />
He released!<br />
Then flipped five or six times!<br />
(I wasn't quite able<br />
to be sure of the count.)<br />
He landed at our table.<br />
Bravo! We all cheered.<br />
And though the menu was weird,<br />
I'd come back anytime for such service.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyzecp01ZkDGdwV0Z4oyKF0-b-5g4taiYvpcwF50-iCvAHrGW8yCcPqj-NPev2czh8GQ1L4Ih1e3fybS1bvmBIdtE0sD_B9shmmjWaTnhxXnjpFghM8B73OLlKzmTIu8Ssn4NGve2qjWo/s1600/Trapeze.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyzecp01ZkDGdwV0Z4oyKF0-b-5g4taiYvpcwF50-iCvAHrGW8yCcPqj-NPev2czh8GQ1L4Ih1e3fybS1bvmBIdtE0sD_B9shmmjWaTnhxXnjpFghM8B73OLlKzmTIu8Ssn4NGve2qjWo/s400/Trapeze.jpg" width="286" /></a></div>
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Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-19848901495259633012016-01-26T17:00:00.000-05:002016-01-26T17:00:16.691-05:00The Ultimate Race<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
My rival and I,<br />
We traded the lead,<br />
As up hills and down hills we sped.<br />
First he,<br />
and then I,<br />
and then again he<br />
overtook the leader<br />
and led.<br />
<br />
But on the last uphill, he passed me once more.<br />
And as he did he said,<br />
"How much do you want this?"<br />
That was it!<br />
Six words!<br />
Like the arrow to Achilles' heel when he bled.<br />
<br />
The fire in my heart<br />
That had fueled me from the start<br />
went out.<br />
My legs felt like lead.<br />
With astonishing speed,<br />
I lost my lead.<br />
My rival, he raced on ahead.<br />
And as I faded back<br />
into the pelaton pack,<br />
His words spun round and around in my head:<br />
<br />
How much did I want this?<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Not enough was my answer.<br />
And that's why I became<br />
a dancer<br />
instead.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia_67LtXGxx2po0PacX8d9TATq-AHQ3aXTBDCRikc2FWofaqvjD9p6dsEiY-KZnfGuMaN3yJOpkhkJNXr8tvXxCxQ1X01qTdQWcRTrfLQE92Ijt7FrpHzA-YCu3r4cha1CL4kOrfaOwto/s1600/FullSizeRender+%25284%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia_67LtXGxx2po0PacX8d9TATq-AHQ3aXTBDCRikc2FWofaqvjD9p6dsEiY-KZnfGuMaN3yJOpkhkJNXr8tvXxCxQ1X01qTdQWcRTrfLQE92Ijt7FrpHzA-YCu3r4cha1CL4kOrfaOwto/s320/FullSizeRender+%25284%2529.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-67141568327345933622016-01-19T17:00:00.000-05:002016-01-19T17:00:06.946-05:00The Herring Plate in the Bering Strait<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
We were bearing straight<br />
through the Bering Strait,<br />
when I looked at my watch.<br />
It was nine fifty eight!<br />
I asked our waiter why our food was so late.<br />
"It isn't," he said, and delivered our plate<br />
of herring<br />
for sharing.<br />
Oh, boy! Was it great!<br />
Freshly caught.<br />
Piping hot.<br />
Without question - worth the wait!<br />
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Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-891942298401207818.post-54688368000377161492016-01-12T17:00:00.000-05:002016-01-12T17:00:00.218-05:00Why not buy a new gnu?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
If I knew then what I know now,<br />
I'd never buy a new gnu.<br />
<br />
I love my gnu. I really do.<br />
<br />
But for the price of two new gnus,<br />
You can buy six or seven gnus used.<br />
<br />
And even if the odd one's bruised,<br />
You'd still have a working herd.<br />
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That's at least what I have heard.<br />
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Stefan Lanferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982178246309556566noreply@blogger.com0